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Recently, I saw a meme posted on Facebook which simply read, “Saying Jesus died for me is manipulative.” The meme also included one of the comments in response to it which read, “To say he rose from the dead is gaslighting.” That meme pushed a button with me but not because of the antichristian overtones. Disagreement with or denial of the Christian doctrine of Penal Substitution (in a courtroom drama, Jesus, the innocent one, took humanity’s deserved penalty of death and damnation unto himself and died once and for all earning us an acquittal and enabling reconciliation with God) or, if you don’t like the courtroom imagery, just plain Substitutionary Atonement will do (Jesus’s death was in Humanity’s place for more reason than just moral infractions for which we deserve to be punished),…disagreement and denial of those biblical metaphors which attempt to explain Jesus’ death is nothing new nor is denying his resurrection. That wasn’t what pushed the button. I wear big boy pull-up pants these days and I can handle it when someone disagrees with my Jesus-centered understanding of reality.
What pushed my button was just how loosely if not inappropriately terms which can be classified as “Therapy Speak” get thrown around these days. Manipulation and gaslighting are terms that come to us from the world of psychotherapy and are particularly associated with the behaviours of narcissistic personality disorder. We all know how roughly 10 years ago narcissistic personality disorder and the behaviours associated with it (so also the kindred diagnoses of sociopathy and psychopathy) hit the world stage with an unbelievably huge impact as people were trying to come to grips with the behaviour of a certain world leader. Still today, we can rest assured that whenever certain political figures open their mouths we’re being manipulated and gaslighted. Regardless, the aftermath of that sort of armchair psychologizing working its way through the news media and social media is that two people can’t have a disagreement anymore without somebody getting offended and somebody getting called a narcissist and somebody getting accused of manipulation and gaslighting just because their narratives differ around the same body of facts (whatever a fact is anymore). When we accuse somebody of manipulation or gaslighting when that is not the case and we’re just having a disagreement, it only serves to shut down the conversation. We need to leave the Therapy Speak to the therapists and hope to God they know what they’re doing with them. Unfortunately, the world of therapy has its vogue pop-culture too.
In thinking about a possible response to the meme I could, in Pharisaical manner, very easily with a high degree of certainty at least as far as I am concerned look down my nose and accuse the meme and the sharers thereof of manipulating and gaslighting me for trying to convince me that my spiritual experience is a figment of my imagination that I use to get people to do what I want them to do. I could say they have offended me and traumatized me because I have since been having ruminating thoughts because of the meme. After all, I’m writing a sermon about it. No. I won’t play Pharisee and look down my nose and act all offended that somehow my rights have been violated by someone who sees things differently from me. I also won’t mask some sort of condescending, self-righteous rage at “people like them” behind a passive aggressive question in the comment section such as, “Doesn’t it bother you that you’re going to Hell?” No, I won’t respond like that. To me and many like me, Jesus’ resurrection and New Life in him by the gift of the Holy Spirit are as real and felt as are death and shame and guilt and suffering. I can’t fault someone for not having the experiences that I have had in life.
Actually, I’m going to agree with the meme and the person who posted it as far as I can without denying the Truth of the substitutionary nature of Jesus’ death. I know the person who posted it and I care greatly for that person. I know where this person is coming from and it’s important to note that this posting came about in the wake of the murder of Charlie Kirk when American Christian Nationalists and people on the left were having a bit of a tit for tat to put it mildly. I have some empathy for this person and this person’s views. I will agree that a certain element of the Christian church truly has been manipulative with Jesus’ death, trying to coerce conversions out of people by guilting and shaming them with the big club of Jesus dying for them. That big club becomes a battle axe when a person is further told that they aren’t a real believer in Jesus unless they are (and these days the list is) anti-immigrant, anti-Trans, anti-science, anti-climate change, anti-higher education, anti-abortion, anti-vax, pro-US, pro-Israel, and pro-Trump. That arm of Christianity needs to see through its own delusion and realize they are causing “little ones” who belong to Christ to fall away. As far as the meme goes, I will agree that Jesus’ death has been and continues to be used by some to manipulate people, but I won’t throw the baby out with the bathwater and say that Jesus’ death was not in some wonderful way for me, for humanity…actually for the whole creation.
So, how would I respond to the meme if were to ever be able to get beyond the trauma of being called a manipulative gaslighter? I would ask questions that sound a lot like those condescending “rhetorical questions” that people ask and then say you don’t have to answer. I would start with “What if it’s true that Jesus died for us?” What if it’s true that there is something so utterly wrong within the human condition that only God can heal it by becoming human, dying, and being raised from the dead?
Seriously, what is wrong with humanity? We suffer alienation from one another and from God. We hide in shame. We so often do violence to one another even if it is just a little lying to cover our asses. We all have nasty little secrets we don’t want anybody to know (but isn’t great when we can trust another person enough to get that shit off our chests and then find ourselves still loved and accepted?). We’re all narcissistic to varying extents. We’re all addicted to something. We all do selfish stuff that hurts the weak and vulnerable and especially the people we love. And, do I even need to mention the things we should have done but didn’t for lack of courage or fear of embarrassment. This disease of the human mind is so profound and extensive that the whole creation suffers because of us. As remarkable as we human beings are, we become a deadly virus everywhere we go.
What if the only way for a loving God to heal humanity of this disease is to become one of us as Jesus of Nazareth and thereby infuse God’s very life to humanity and not just humans but even literal physical matter not just the something nebulous called “spiritual” stuff. And, not just infuse himself and his life into us, but he took human being, including this disease, into Godself, let it run its course in him, and then died with it, and that’s not the end. Jesus rose from death, healed of the disease, with a new life to share and we discover it in following Jesus in his way of life marked by unconditional love, forgiveness, compassion, hospitality, generosity, and dying to self (which is antithetical to the pursuit of self-fulfillment, self-aggrandizement). In following him that seed of new life, the Holy Spirit, begins to grow. What if it is true?
I look at the world around me these days through the lens of this parable. I see what appears to be just about everybody, myself included, self-righteously pointing the finger at everybody else while claiming to be right and thanking the god they’ve created in their own image that they ain’t like “those people”. I really don’t see anybody hiding in the corner, sick to death of the way they are and the way they have hurt and taken advantage of others be they friend, family, or foe. To be frank, we are all at heart tax collectors running around thinking everybody owes us something when in fact we each are the biggest debtors of all…broken, hurting, hiding.
This tax collector for some reason realizes that the cure for his diseased mind, soul, and body is that only God can do something about it. It’s very interesting what he asks of God…and here comes a Greek lesson. This tax collector’s prayer is mistranslated in every translation. In the Greek text, he is not asking for mercy. The word for mercy, eleos, is not there. It would be fitting if it was. That word is from the same word family as the words for olive and olive oil, which they used for a healing balm. If that word was there, a beautiful translation of the prayer would be, “God, be a healing balm for me, a sinner.” But that’s not what he is asking.
The word that is there is hilasterion, which means a sacrifice of expiation. In the world of sacrifices, there were two kinds that the ancient world did to make things right with God, propitiation and expiation. The driving thought pattern was: “I’m a sinner. If I come into God’s holy presence, I will deservedly die.” Propitiation, which the Israelites did not practice, was sacrificing an animal in your place to get God’s favour. Expiation was a person transferring their sin to an animal usually by touching it. The animal was then sacrificed, putting the sin to death. This is similar to a poultice drawing infection from a wound.
This prayer is audacious. It literally reads, “God, be yourself the sacrifice of expiation for me, a sinner.” The tax collector realizes the extent of his sin is so great that a simple animal sacrifice of expiation won’t do it. A human sacrifice would be evil and no cure at all. He can’t fix it with his own death. Everybody dies and we will all face God. His sins, our sins, are so great his only hope for the healing of his diseased mind and being reconciled to God and to those whom he has hurt is for God himself to become the sacrifice of expiation for him.
It may sound like ridiculous metaphysics, but that is why Jesus, God the Son, in love died on the cross for each of us. There is healing for humanity in Jesus in the Holy Spirit-filled New Life he has to give. It is time we check our self-righteous pride at the door and come to grips with how great a debtor we each are. Jesus paid that debt. Maybe we ought to give him a chance. Amen.