I don’t know about you folks, but this parable, The
Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, really troubles me. The lesson is quite obvious. We, the disciples of Jesus, are to forgive as
God has forgiven us. That seems only
proper, right, and obvious. As God is
forgiving and we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit as the Body of Christ, we are
to be forgiving. It’s that image of God
thing.
That doesn’t trouble me. What goads me is there at the end of the parable
when the King in a fit of wrath turns the unmerciful servant over to be
tortured until every last penny of the debt is paid. Then Jesus says, “So my heavenly Father will
also do to each one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from
the heart.”
I don’t know about you but this troubles me for a
couple of reasons. First, it says there is
a wrathful side of God. I like a God who
is full of patience and healing mercy and love and all that, not a wrathful God. This wrathful God image plays too easily into the hands of
evil people who use it to perpetuate fear and provoke acts of hatred against
those who are different from themselves. We must be careful when we tread the
precarious ground of God’s wrathful side.
Second, Jesus says that God the Father will be
wrathful towards us, the disciples of Jesus – his beloved children in Christ
whom he has laced with his very self by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit – if
we don’t forgive one another from the heart.
God will hand us over to be tormented if we do not take the path of
forgiving. The forgiving Jesus speaks of
isn’t just the lip service, legal transaction kind of forgiving we cop out on
where the offender says “Sorry” and the offended says “Forgiven.” It is a deep kind of forgiving, unconditionally
forgiving from the heart, which is the seat of our motives and drives. I’ll get to that momentarily.
The effects on us of being unforgiving are akin to a
form of torture or torment. We have to
ask what Jesus means by torment. The
Greek word originates in the world of commerce for a coin tester, the coin-biter
who tests authenticity. Its scope of
meaning grows to include testing the character of a person by torture or
torment. Ultimately, it can be the evil
of torment for the sake of torment.
In Matthew’s Gospel this concept of torment occurs
more than anywhere else in the Bible. It
means afflicted with disease (4:24) and suffering to the point of psychosomatic
paralysis (8:26). Jesus healed people
suffering from these torments. The
demons who possessed the two “Garasene demoniacs” when they recognized Jesus
shouted out, “What have you to do with us, Son of God. Have you come to torment us before the time?”
(8:29). Jesus cast them out into a herd
of pigs. Then, immediately after Jesus
feeds the 5,000+ he sends the twelve disciples out on the Sea of Galilee in a
boat by themselves and a perilous windstorm erupts. The boat is tormented (battered) by the
waves. Jesus comes walking on the
water. After Peter’s failed attempt at walking
on water, Jesus got in the boat and calmed the storm.
In all these cases Jesus ends the torment and heals
its effects on people. For the demons,
he turns it back on them. But here,
according to this parable, if we take the route of unforgiveness, we choose to
revert back to a “prior-to-meeting” Jesus state of torment. When Jesus comes into our lives he sets us
free from our inclination towards unforgiveness and by the power and presence
of the Holy Spirit gives us a new heart that desires to forgive and be at peace
with God, with ourselves, with those who have hurt us and also with those whom
we have hurt. If this parable does one
thing, it points us to the fact that reconciliation, which means working the
process of forgiving, is our primary task as Jesus’ disciples. Being faithful people means being forgiving
people. In this world of sin broken
relationships, the restored image of God in us, the disciples of Jesus, looks
like people working towards all-encompassing forgiveness; i.e., reconciliation,
among ourselves and in all of society.
In the last few decades there have been a number of
studies done on the effects of unforgiveness on our health and relationships
that add some depth to our discussion.
An article by the Mayo Clinic[1]
lists the relational effects of harbouring unforgiveness. It can cause us to: 1) bring anger and
bitterness into every relationship and new experience; 2) become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the
present; 3) become depressed or
anxious; 4) feel that your life lacks
meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs; 5) lose
valuable and enriching connectedness with others.
Looking more at the realm
of physical health, unforgiveness increases the levels of stress hormones in
our bodies. This in turn leads to
increased blood pressure, higher cholesterol levels, weakened immune systems, and anxiety and depression all of which puts us at a greater risk of stroke, heart
disease, cancer, and chronic pain.
Unforgiveness has a huge health cost.
My summation of all this is that being
unforgiving leads us into a life of lonely, bitter isolation and sickness and
the costs are deadly. As I see it, the
path of unforgiveness follows the same destructive course that addictions do on
our health and relationships. In the
course of my ministry I have known a Christian who chose the path of unforgiveness
and, sadly, I had the displeasure of watching that person stay that course
against repeated attempts to turn her back to Christ. She routinely attacked members of her church as if
possessed by a demon. She was lonely and
bitter when she could have been so loved and supported.
The people of her church did a remarkable job of maintaining her in their
midst despite her attacks.
Unforgiveness is a
choice, so therefore is forgiveness. It
is remarkable that Jesus uses the imagery of debt to define unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is pridefully holding on to a
feeling that we are owed something by someone who has or whom we believe to have
wronged us. Forgiveness is letting go of
this pride-filled demand for restitution of our honour. But, in the Christian it is more than
that. It is striving to be in a reconciled
relationship with those who have wronged us and even more so wanting them to
know the peace and love we have in Jesus.
Forgiveness is a process,
a spiritual discipline that we must work at. This will be the first and probably only time
I will agree with Joyce Meyer, who is a populist Christian writer and
speaker. She gives some helpful
practical advice on how to forgive on her website.[2] First, decide to forgive. We won’t do it if we wait until we feel like
it. Decide to forgive, desire to forgive,
and God will in time heal our emotions.
Second, we are powerless over unforgiveness so we must depend on the
power of the Holy Spirit to help us forgive.
Third, do what the Bible tells us to do: pray for our enemies and do
good to them and bless them rather than curse them.
I add to her advice that
we should also follow Jesus’ direction in Matthew 18:15-18. As a matter of first course go to the person
and address the situation. If that
doesn’t work, take two others. If that doesn’t
work, announce it to the church. If that
doesn’t work, then you’re done with them.
Let God deal them, but still keep praying.
To be faithful disciples of Jesus is to forgive. There’s no way around it. There's a cost when we don't forgive. Amen.
[1] Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness; http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
[2] The Poison of Unforgiveness; https://www.joycemeyer.org/everydayanswers/ea-teachings/the-poison-of-unforgiveness
