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I first started learning to play the guitar back when I was 10 or 11. One of my early influences was my grandfather. There would be times back then when visiting my grandparents that I would get tired of watching TV and get the urge to go upstairs and jam on Granddaddy’s guitar. There was only one problem—I had to ask him if I could play it and that created a huge internal dilemma for me. I would sit there and sit there for what seemed an eternity, trying to get up the nerve just to ask. It was agony. My heart would race, my mind would say “just ask him,” but I just couldn’t do it. I would get to the point of almost blurting it out, but…I just couldn’t do it. Something just kept me from asking and it didn’t make sense. So frustrating! Well, occasionally I did get the words out and he’d answer, “Why sure. Help yourself.” I’d go on up and ten minutes or so later he’d come up and try to teach me a song he played when he was young – The Boogie Woogie usually. Those were special times for my grandfather and me. We were the only ones in the family that played.
I don’t know why I had such a hard time just asking Granddaddy if I could play his guitar. I knew he’d say yes. I just couldn’t ask. I was just a shy kid who had a hard time saying what he wanted, I guess. I couldn’t get beyond myself enough to stop and think who it was I was asking and how willing he would be to share not only his guitar but his time and his memories with me, that he might actually want that special time with me.
Why is it so hard sometimes to ask for what we want especially when we know it comes from someone who cares infinitely about us and who won’t say no? Why is it? That’s one of the greatest mysteries of life, I guess. But it boils down to that we just get so caught up in our own irrationalities (it’s actually shame) that we forget who it is that we’re asking. It doesn’t make sense.
I think this problem affects how we pray as well. We get so caught up in our own mess that we forget to whom it is that we pray. I think this is part of why Jesus when instructing his disciples on how to pray, begins with the reminder of exactly to whom it is we pray: “Our Father in heaven”. The first lesson that Jesus gives to us on how to pray is that when we pray, we pray to our Father in heaven.
Calling God Father changes the way we relate to God. Some may have an understandable problem with understanding God as Father for reasons of it being patriarchal, sexist, or their own father was abusive. I understand but, before we through the baby out with the bathwater, there’s something we need to understand about the name “Father” from a biblical perspective; more so the role of a father. We should think about what an honourable father was supposed to be and do for his family. Abraham and Job are good examples here. Along with a good wife whom he honours and cherishes, a father brings a family into existence. The father provides a safe home and all that the family needs. He is faithful to and truly cares for the well-being of everyone in the family. He defends the family and publicly conducts himself so that the family name is respected. He looks after the spiritual needs of the family. He provides an inheritance for the family thus providing for the future of the family. He blesses and is a blessing to the family. As the children grow up the father includes them in the responsibilities of the family work and listens to their opinions. The family respects the father and honours what he wants for the family. You see, the honourable father wants only what God wants for his family and strives for that. Underneath it all is a bond of love in the family.
So, we are to have all that in mind when we pray to the Creator of this beautiful universe and rest assured that this Creator considers us his beloved children, his family, and invites us to consider him our Father. This Father in heaven loves and cherishes us and only wants the best for us and can and will make it happen. So, if calling God “Father” is difficult, let’s just still take to heart this fatherly nature of God when we pray. There’s motherly nature to God as well. That’s a good way to think about the work of the Holy Spirit. There’s also a sibling nature to God with Brother Jesus. There is a profound family-like nature to God the Trinity. Regardless, it is important when we pray that we consider the nature of the one to whom we pray, that there is a love there that’s family-like, that will not hurt us the way family can in this broken world. It’s important that we put aside our own irrationalities and shame and come to the God who loves us in prayer.
About prayer, prayer takes place in our spirit as it communions with God. I like to think of our spirit in its simplest terms as that part of us that relates to God, to others and to our self. So, prayer is a relationship. Prayer takes place in the bond of love that we have with God. Prayer is not making requests to an aloof deity that says he’ll hear our prayers on account of some human sacrifice years ago. Prayer is kind of like me sitting in a chair across the room from my grandfather stressing out over whether he’ll let me play his guitar except putting all that stressing out stuff aside and rather listening to that part of me that knew Grandaddy’s love for me and that there was nothing that he wouldn’t do for me so long as it was in my best interest. My grandfather was true to that love to the tee and that’s what prayer is like. Prayer is sitting in the presence of our loving Father in heaven in communion with him and brother Jesus and the Holy Spirit present with a sense of God’s presence gluing us all together, our spirit with the Holy Spirit, and knowing that what we ask will be granted if it is according to his will and care for us.
So, what to pray? In the prayer that Jesus gives us which we should pray frequently throughout the day, we ask for God’s Kingdom to come and God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Praying this leads to our desiring it which leads to our striving for the coming of God’s Kingdom to earth. We ask for God to provide for what we need each day. That should always have us questioning do we need more than that. We ask God to forgive us in accordance with how we feel others owe us something. Thinking that somebody owes us something is the root of what a grudge is and that’s a sermon for another day. There’s also the not bringing us into the time of trial thing that has to do with evil deciding to test your faith. That’s also a sermon for another day. The Lord’s Prayer is a prayer to have frequently running through your mind throughout the day.
But, what about specific things we need to pray about: the hurts, the illnesses, the grieving, hurting relationships, and so forth. Well, Jesus begins by saying be persistent. Don’t think you’re inconveniencing God or don’t deserve anything special from God. Even friends will do what we ask if we bother them enough. Won’t our father in heaven do all the more. But the fact that it takes persistence means that things take time. We don’t know what all is involved in God answering a prayer for us. Prayer is not a magic wand and there’s none of this “just believe you’ll get it” stuff that TV preachers push. Placing things that are beyond our control into the hands of God is a difficult task. Asking, seeking, and knocking on the door are things we must do. There are no overnight solutions to anything, but waiting on God changes us. Waiting creates humility, patience, compassion, kindness, faith, gentleness, and self-control.
Jesus finishes with inviting us to pray for the Holy Spirit; praying for God’s felt, life-transforming presence with and in us. The Holy Spirit nurtures us with the felt faithful love of God to be more like Jesus is his nature of unconditional love. There is nothing greater in this life that we can pray for than a healthy dose of knowing God, knowing God is present with us, knowing we are beloved by God, knowing and feeling that God’s faithful love surrounds us. God is very generous when the prayer request is “God, give us yourself.” Or “God, let me know your faithful love.” Be persistent. The Holy Spirit will make himself known to you particularly by the way he changes you which will be noticeable. Just ask. Amen.
